Real Women Offbeat

Real Women

Intro:

This ones for the ladies
Now I know what you’re thinking
But it’s not like that
So before you jump to conclusions
Hear me out…

Verse 1:

The song that you’re about to hear is dedicated
To the ladies to show you how much you’re appreciated
But just so you know which ladies I mean
It’s not the ones you see all day on the TV screen
Not the actresses and dancers and the models and the singers
Who put unnecessary pressure on you to be slimmer
I mean the real women, the ones with real figures
Who are proud of what they see when they’re looking in the mirror
Coz the image they portray in advertising
Is deliberately designed that way to make you buy things
They make you feel bad for having cellulite
Take away your normal cola and sell you “Light”
But real women have real shapes and curves
And eat real meals instead of picking at hors d’oeuvres
They don’t think a burger is worse than committing murder
And they don’t think that ‘Carb’ is a four-letter word

Chorus:

To all the real women – this ones for you
All the real women out there with bums and boobs
All these fake little girls, you can keep them
Coz real women only appeal to real men

Verse 2:

Real women have real hobbies and interests
Beyond celebrities who have the bodies of insects
And obviously real women still like to shop
But they don’t think Jimmy Choo and Kurt Geiger are gods
And they know when they go out on special occasions
It’s sexier to leave some things to the imagination
They’re able to take a photo without pouting
They look good with makeup and still good without it
Real women read books instead of magazines
And would choose a paperback over Grazia and Heat
And not just on holiday but all year round
And before you ask, no 50 Shades doesn’t count!
Real women like real shows with real actors
Like Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad, not X-Factor
Real women like real music and not cheese
Real women like real rappers like Offbeat

Chorus:

To all the real women – this ones for you
All the real women out there not obsessed with shoes
All these fake little girls, you can keep them
Coz real women only appeal to real men

Verse 3:

Real women are capable of holding conversations
For more than 5 minutes without losing concentration
They don’t spend the whole time texting and tweeting
And when they meet their friends they say ‘Hi’ instead of screaming
Real women are comfortable with their sexuality
And don’t need a man just to satisfy their vanity
But if she wants to take a guy back to her pad
How come the guy is a hero but the girl is a slag?
The only time I ever hear a song on the radio
That mentions a girl’s brains are the ones about fellatio
I wanna hear a song on the DAB
That puts PHDs above GHDs
But til then I’ll continue to fight the corner
Of the mums and the sisters and the wives and the daughters
Coz they’re the ones who really make life worth living
And they’re the real reason why I love real women

Chorus:

To all the real women – this ones for you
All the real women out there with high IQs
All these fake little girls, you can keep them
Coz real women only appeal to real men

To all the real women – this ones for you
All the real women out there with bums and boobs
All the real women out there not obsessed with shoes
And all the real women out there with high IQs

To all the real women – this one’s for you
The ones who don’t let anybody ever tell you what to do
All the big and the small ones, the young and the old ones
The short and the tall ones – we love you