The Talk

Verse 1

Girl: Hey, can we talk a minute?

Offbeat: Yeah what’s up?

Girl: Um, just sit down a sec…

We’ve been dating for a while now, a good six weeks or so
And I wanna know where you think that this gonna go

Offbeat: Yeah… I had a feeling that you might do
I mean it’s only fair, after all you’ve got the right to
To tell the truth – I guess I’ve been evading it
Coz I don’t really know the best way of explaining this
– You’re amazing and it’s been a lot of fun
But right now I’m just not in the right place for a relationship
You know the way it is, I’m a busy guy
I got a whole load on my plate and I don’t really have the time
So I can’t commit to anything but if you’d like
To keep things on a casual basis well then that’d be just fine…

Girl: Uh, why the hell didn’t you say that?
– If that’s how you felt then you shoulda told me way back
Instead of wasting my time getting my hopes up
Thinking there was more when all along you had the same plan
By staying quiet and refusing to confess
You’ve basically been lying to me and just using me for sex
It could’ve been casual if you’d said so at the start
But instead you’ve gone ahead and played around with my heart

Chorus

(Flopped it) But I’m gonna learn from my mistakes
And be honest next time to avoid the heart ache
When it comes to The Talk I won’t leave it so long
Coz baby I don’t wanna do you wrong (No I don’t wanna do you wrong)

Verse 2

Offbeat: Hey, can we talk a minute?

Girl: Yeah what’s up?

Offbeat: Um, just sit down a sec…

We met a couple days ago and had our first date
Then we spent the night together and I won’t lie it was great
But I’ve been berated for misleading girls before
So it’s important to me that we talk just to set things straight
You seem ace and I think you’re really pretty
But I don’t want a girlfriend now coz I’m too busy
And I don’t wanna be accused of lying or pretending
– So I’m ending it now before you get invested…

Girl: (Uh) –

Offbeat: Shh baby let me speak…
I know you’re looking for the One but I’m afraid that isn’t me
You’re probably devastated and I’m sorry you got stung
But I’m doing you a favour – in fact you’ll probably thank me in the long run…

Girl: … Are you done?

Offbeat: Uh I guess so…

Girl: Ok, well number 1
Just coz I’m a woman doesn’t mean I need a boyfriend
Don’t you know that some girls just wanna have fun? (Um…)
Now try and brace your ego for number 2…
The sex was good but not enough to make me fall in love with you!
So based on what you’ve said let’s be friends and nothing more
You could’ve had benefits but you’re too immature

Chorus

(Flopped it) But I’m gonna learn from my mistakes
So next time I’ll slow things down and put on the brakes
When it comes to The Talk I won’t come on so strong
Coz baby I don’t wanna do you wrong (No I don’t wanna do you wrong)

Verse 3

Both: Hey, can we talk a minute? / Hey, can we talk a minute?

Offbeat: Haha, you go first

Girl: No you…

Offbeat: We’ve hooked up a couple times so lets get it out the way
And make sure that the two of us are both on the same page
I’m having lots of fun – an absolute ball in fact
But right now I’m not looking for anything more than that

Girl: Thanks, I appreciate you being straight with me
And actually I gotta say it comes as a great relief
See I just came out of a long term relationship
So I don’t wanna jump into another one so hastily

Offbeat: Sweet! This is what’s been so elusive
A girl who’s cool with not being exclusive
Who’s like a mate and who kills me with laugher
Who I want to watch Netflix and chill with after…
But now a couple months have passed I see a catch
Coz the more time that I spend with you, the more I feel attached
When I get with other girls it doesn’t feel the same
And the thought of you with other guys is driving me insane
So what do you say, why don’t we just give this thing a go?

Girl: I’m sorry, but I told you from the start the answers “No”
Why do you look upset? I thought you said that’s what you wanted

Offbeat: I thought it was as well, but somehow it still feels like I’ve flopped it.