Verse 1<\/p>\n
Hello there and welcome, I’m glad that you could make it
\nOn this trip to one of Britain’s deadliest places
\nNow keep your wits about you in this strange and distant land
\nAs we go on a search to find the great British Lad
\nA couple housekeeping tips I quickly need to mention
\nPlease no flash photography – you’ll only draw attention
\nSoak yourself in aftershave and use it as a mask
\nAnd put this skintight t-shirt on to act as camouflage
\nNow that all been covered – we’re ready to get started
\nThere’s a pack of lads now! Just look at their markings…
\nTheir unique tattoos differ them from rival gangs
\nA bunch of Chinese symbols and couple tribal bands
\nThere’s 6 of them in total, and though they’re mostly social
\nThey’re likely to attack another pack if they’re not local
\nThey operate collectively and often have a tendency
\nTo urinate in public places just to mark their territory<\/p>\n
Chorus:<\/p>\n
Welcome to the jungle it’s a hostile terrain
\nA dangerous location full of predators and prey
\nIt may not seem that way to you, especially in the day
\nBut when night falls it turns into a very different place<\/p>\n
Verse 2<\/p>\n
Let’s take a closer look at this group in particular
\nHands up anybody here who knows this bit of trivia
\nWhat two traits does the alpha male exhibit?
\nYes you at the back “He’s the loudest and the biggest”
\nCorrect! Now in this group Gav is the leader
\nAnd he’s in charge of all the beta males who are weaker
\nWhen it comes to where to go – he makes the selection
\nAnd when he cracks a joke they all laugh without exception
\nThe female of the species also has degrees of status
\nBut their rank is measured on a slightly different basis
\nThe queen bee is usually the one who’s most attractive
\nSo being Alpha Lad comes with another big advantage
\nThis system is accepted and must always be respected
\nAs failure to comply can cause a lad to get ejected
\nThis might not seem fair to you – and I agree it isn’t
\nBut out here in the jungle it’s survival of the fittest<\/p>\n
Chorus:<\/p>\n
Welcome to the jungle it’s a hostile terrain
\nA dangerous location full of predators and prey
\nIt may not seem that way to you, especially in the day
\nBut when night falls it turns into a very different place<\/p>\n
Verse 3<\/p>\n
Now I know that you came here for one main reason
\nTo see the British Lad during mating season
\nAnd now that they’ve drunk enough it only seems right
\nTo try and find a partner to take home for the night
\nThere’s more men than women which is always the way
\nSo they engage in a complex courtship display
\nThis can range from anything from dancing and posing
\nTo telling her about the type of car that he’s owning
\nDon’t look now but I think we’ve got a match
\nGav’s spotted Tracey and she thinks he’s a catch
\nThey’re grinding on the dancefloor but just before they leave
\nThey’re greeted by her ex-mating partner called Steve
\nNeither will back down so a violent fight ensues
\nWhere everything from foreheads to beer bottles are used
\nSteve is victorious so on this occasion
\nGav goes home with a kebab – to watch Babe Station<\/p>\n
Welcome to the jungle it’s a hostile terrain
\nA dangerous location full of predators and prey
\nIt may not seem that way to you, especially in the day
\nBut when night falls it turns into a very different place<\/p>\n
Outro<\/p>\n
I know it’s ba-a-ad, I wanna be a la-a-ad
\nI wanna drink like lads, think like lads, It’s sad<\/p>\n
I know it’s ba-a-ad, I wanna be a la-a-ad
\nI wanna crawl like lads, brawl like lads it\u2019s mad<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Verse 1 Hello there and welcome, I’m glad that you could make it On this trip to one of Britain’s deadliest places Now keep your wits about you in this strange and distant land As we go on a search to find the great British Lad A couple housekeeping tips I quickly need to mention […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=222"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}