{"id":3044,"date":"2022-05-23T13:02:30","date_gmt":"2022-05-23T13:02:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/?p=3044"},"modified":"2022-05-23T13:02:46","modified_gmt":"2022-05-23T13:02:46","slug":"tea-total-ft-professor-elemental","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/tea-total-ft-professor-elemental","title":{"rendered":"Tea Total (ft Professor Elemental)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Intro<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cop: Wha\u2019s going on here Elemental?
Prof: Just the opening of a new teashop officer
Cop: I know there\u2019s monkey business going on \u2018ere
Prof: He\u2019s an ape actually. And a damn fine waitress. Care for one of his creamy scones? Or an afternoon tea?
Cop: I don\u2019 buy it Elemental\u2026 I know you\u2019re up to some\u2019in\u2019 and when I find out what I\u2019m gonna take you to the cleaners<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Verse 1 (Professor Elemental)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Appearances are deceiving
I can prove seeing shouldn’t be believing
You know the password, sneak in this evening
All will be revealed, something cheeky and indecent
The coast is clear – I’m flipping the switch
With a flick of the wrist, with a click and a twist
Flip the tables rearrange it like lickety split
Get a drink light the lights now we’re hitting it big
Tea room to speakeasy and our mission is this
Switch your fears into dreams then give them a lift
Give them a kiss whether it’s a mister or miss
Have a seat and I insist and then listen to this
My machinery is unbelievable and so\u2019s the scenery
The bar, the stage, the stars, amazing, things you’ve never seen and we
Won’t rest until you’re entertained, tipsy, tripping
Bring on the dancing girls, DJs and the magicians<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chorus (Sharleena Ray)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Welcome to our tea shop, it\u2019s the finest one in town
By day we serve Earl Grey but, when the sun goes down
The revelry\u2019s intoxicating, and so is our tea
For we\u2019ve a cellar stocked with spirits (shhh) between you and me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can read your fortune amongst those ginseng leaves
Just keep our little secret and we can be as thick as thieves
The authorities need never know you\u2019re here so don\u2019t you fret
Just come and quench your thirst, we\u2019re sure to get your taste buds wet<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Who is it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Verse 2 (Offbeat)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Swingpin with a special delivery
Coming to you direct fresh from the distillery
I\u2019ve got the liquor to refresh ya guests
So strong that it\u2019ll put hairs on Geoffrey\u2019s chest
You would never guess this quaint little premises
Could be the scene of such hedonism and decadence
And host the city\u2019s most unsavoury residents
Which is why like the Professor I\u2019m in my Element
But tonight I got more hooch to deliver
\u201cAre you sure we can\u2019t persuade you to stay for a snifter?\u201d
Well I never get high on my own supply
But since it\u2019s you Prof, tonight I guess it could differ
(gulp, cough) Yeah that\u2019s got quite a kick
Now I\u2019m in the mood to start misbehaving a bit
Stealing the Prof\u2019s hat just to see if it fits
Now that\u2019s what I really call taking the pith<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well well well! I knew you were up to something Elemental and now I\u2019ve caught you associating with the Swingpin there\u2019s no denying it! I\u2019ve got you righ\u2019 where I want you and this time you\u2019re not getting away with it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Verse 3 (Professor Elemental)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Calm down officer, no need to start with locking up
I understand your job is hard but stop and have a drop with us
Malt or hops? Rum or vodka? All top notch, in stock in the
Bar, come on copper, let\u2019s get properly improper<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Offbeat)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah c\u2019mon officer, just take what the Prof offers ya
And see for yourself why this product is so popular
Besides you\u2019ll only be seen by a few folk
We promise that we won\u2019t tell anybody if you don\u2019t<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Sharleena Ray)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Greetings officer, how do you do?
Here\u2019s one on the house and it’s just for you\u2026
To your health sir, chin up now, clink clink
You know this is what the big boys drink<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Pye)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now look here, I will not be tempted
And this dirty dive bar will not be exempted
But before I leave I need a bit more surety
I\u2019ll have one sip just to test the purity<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<guzzle> Hmm\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe I\u2019ve been too hard on this tea shop
I mean everybody needs a way to blow some steam off
And that includes me, so if one crate a week
Was left somewhere discrete we\u2019d have a deal to speak of<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I really must be off
But before I leave, I got a surprise up my sleeve
You\u2019ve all seen a cop on the beat
But what I bet you haven\u2019t seen is a cop on the beatbox\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<Beatbox solo><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Final Chorus<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Welcome to our tea shop, it\u2019s the finest one in town
By day we serve Earl Grey but, when the sun goes down
The revelry\u2019s intoxicating, and so is our tea
For we\u2019ve a cellar stocked with spirits (shhh) between you and me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can read your fortune amongst those ginseng leaves
Just keep our little secret and we can be as thick as thieves
The authorities need never know you\u2019re here so don\u2019t you fret
Just come and quench your thirst, we\u2019re sure to get your taste buds wet<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Intro Cop: Wha\u2019s going on here Elemental?Prof: Just the opening of a new teashop officerCop: I know there\u2019s monkey business going on \u2018ereProf: He\u2019s an ape actually. And a damn fine waitress. Care for one of his creamy scones? Or an afternoon tea?Cop: I don\u2019 buy it Elemental\u2026 I know you\u2019re up to some\u2019in\u2019 and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3044"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3044"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3044\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamoffbeat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}