Hole In My Pocket

Verse 1

It’s the night before payday and all through the house
The only thing stirring is my finger on the mouse
Of my online banking clicking re-fresh
To see if my wages have been received yet
I’ve been waiting for this day for what seems like an age
Coz last month I went out and got carried away
Ok, I’ll confess I spent it all
But this month I’m gonna be way more sensible
Finally it lands and I’m rubbing my hands
But my overdraft hoovers most of the cash
Between that and the credit card minimum amount
There’s barely any money left in the account
That’s fine though I wanted a quiet month anyway
I’ll just stay in save and be well behaved
Then next month when they pay me I may be
Back in the Black like AC and Amy

Chorus:

I got a hole in my pocket coz this money is burning
And I can’t stop spending every penny I’m earning
No matter how much I have when the month commences
By the time that it’s ended I’ve still managed to spend it

Verse 2

I wake up the next day and it’s 10 past 8
And I’ve already got a verbal warning for being late
So I order a cab which I justify internally
I know I can’t afford it but this is an emergency
At lunchtime I meet a mate at a coffee place
Hit the ATM and get a tenner on the way
But now the note is broken so I’ve got a lot of change
And I don’t want it getting wasted so I bosh it on some cakes
I get back and have a little browse on the net
And see a wicked looking book that I’ve been meaning to get
– I know I really shouldn’t but at least it is productive
Plus I’m staying in so I deserve a little something…
At 5 I hear the cry of ‘Beer O’Clock’
But I politely decline to much protest and shock
I feel like a saint for showing such great restraint
So as a reward order a £40 takeaway

Verse 3

A couple days later and I’m standing line
In my local supermarket when my card gets declined
I’m like “Sorry love but it must be your till
Coz I know that I’ve got enough dough to pay the bill”
She tries a couple more times but still no luck
So I dump my stuff and storm off in a huff
I check my bank balance and it says zero
So I think “Oh no! My card must’ve been cloned!”
I phone up my bank to report the fraud
Expecting them to say a Porsche has been bought abroad
But they say “Hmm we’ve not seen anything untoward”
So I make ‘em read the payments out just to be sure
£20 from Uber – yeah that one’s mine
£10 in cash – um yeah also mine
£40 at China Xpress, uh yes…
Would you like me to continue?” No thank you that’s fine!

Verse 4

I’m in deep, my overdraft has reached it’s peak
And payday isn’t for another 3 weeks
I can just about eat but it means tuna mayo
And baked potato three meals a day though
I’m tryna work out this problem that I’m cursed with
Like when it come to cash am I allergic?
Or is is low self esteem that makes me lose it on purpose
Coz secretly I don’t believe I deserve it?
Whatever the reason I’m certain, it’s related
To my poor punctuality and permanent lateness
And explains why I’m such a poor time-keeper
Coz time is money and I never have either
Finally it reaches the end of the month and I’m insistent
This time it’s gonna be different
“Oli mate we’re going to the pub wanna come?”
“Mmm it’s been a long month, I guess I’ll have one…”