Offbeat

I remember as a kid at school, getting ridiculed for being overweight
I didn’t wanna get in swimming pools coz I was too ashamed to expose my frame
Back then I’d deliberately forget to bring my kit with me to PE
And who’dya think was the last man standing, whenever it came to getting picked for teams? Me.
I possessed every characteristic, of a classic bullying victim
Short and podgy, and I talked poshly, – I was like their walking wishlist
It was only the fact I could draw, that saved me from all of the pain they inflicted
“Oi fat boy, wanna get your head kicked in?” Wait! Let me show you this picture of Bart Simpson
But even though I was spared the beatings, it didn’t make me a happy person
My self esteem was already low, and as I entered my teens it only worsened
I didn’t think that a girl on earth could ever be attracted to a guy as fat as me
And I was too shy to chat to them so it became a self-fulfilling prophecy
And as my friends lost their virginities, I just came up with excuses
Coz back then sex felt to me like a private joke and I wasn’t included
But I denied that there was a problem, and acted like I was fine when I wasn’t
So I kept eating and drinking and stuffing my face with drugs ’til I hit rock bottom

I don’t know much in life
But there’s one thing I know
I’ve come a long way
But I gotta long way to go

I woke up one day and decided, there’s no way I can carry on like this
– And for the first time in my life, I joined a gym and started exercising
The results were truly surprising – I lost weight at a rapid rate
And within the first month alone, I’d lost over a stone and was feeling great
Every week I’d jump on the scales, and without fail had lost even more
And every month I was buying new clothes coz I was too small for the ones the month before
But the thing I loved most of all, was the reactions from friends that I knew
People double taking in the street like “Offbeat? I barely recognised you!”
And I won’t deny that was nice, but with that prize there comes a price
I had to change my lifestyle completely and sacrifice all of the things that I liked
No restaurants, no alcohol, no treats or home cooked meals
And at the time I justified it like “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”
I’ll admit I became obsessive, even my relationships were strained
Coz I couldn’t go for a meal without stressing, about how many calories it contained
Eventually I made a magazine cover, but still didn’t feel satisfied
Coz I may have achieved my goal, but what’s the point if you can’t live life?

So now I’d completed my transformation, and been featured in a publication
I was getting emails every day from strangers saying I was their inspiration
And that was great but behind the scenes, I was feeling the pressure
And even though I was in the best shape of my life, I was more self conscious than ever
I began being tempted by all the food that until this point I’d resisted
And bit by bit I started giving in, til I was binging on junk like a fiend addicted
All the things that were once restricted, now weren’t any longer
Coz the thing about depriving yourself of something, is it makes your desire for it that much stronger
It took about a month to undo, a year’s worth of achievements
And whilst I won’t ever get that fat again, I know that I’m not a gym freak either
And even though I invested all that effort, I don’t regret it for a second
I had to do it to prove it to myself that I could and the process taught me a valuable lesson
It’s how you feel on the inside that counts, not how you look physically
Coz I’d rather be happy and a little bit flabby, than ripped but living in misery
And I’m much more fun to hang around with now – at least that’s what my friends tell me
And while my diet might not be as good as it could – my attitude’s a lot more healthy

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